Nigerian Entrepreneur

I got this funny joke by email from my friend, Dot2Power . If you are not a Nigerian, it might not sound so funny. The joke is about a non-English professor trying to show-off his mastery of English language by using difficult words in place of simple ones. Enjoy!

Caution – Please Look for a Dictionary Before Reading

Naija sabi English pass d original Whiteman oooooo!!!!!! If u say na lie, Listen to Naija Prof & Oyinbo man which one U dey blow? (Interpretation – Naija Professor is more educated than the white. If you do not belief listen to both of them speak. By the way, in which category do you fit?)

Whiteman : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
Naija Prof : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.

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Whiteman : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
Naija Prof : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.

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Whiteman : All that glitters is not gold.
Naija Prof : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
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Whiteman : Beggars are not choosers
Naija Prof : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

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Whiteman : Dead men tell no tales
Naija Prof :Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.

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Whiteman : Beginner’s luck
Naija Prof :Neophyte’s serendipity.

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Whiteman : A rolling stone gathers no moss
Naija Prof :A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

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Whiteman : Birds of a feather flock together
Naija Prof : Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.

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Whiteman : Beauty is only skin deep
Naija Prof : Pulchritude possesses solely coetaneous profundity.

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Whiteman : Cleanliness is godliness
Naija Prof : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

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Whiteman : There’s no use crying over split milk
Naija Prof : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

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Whiteman : You can’t try to teach an old dog new tricks
Naija Prof : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

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Whiteman: Look before you leap
Naija Prof :Surveillance should precede saltation.

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Whiteman : He who laughs last, laughs best
Naija Prof : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.

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Whiteman : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Naija Prof : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.

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Whiteman : Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!
Naija Prof : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagrationPlease Look for a Dictionary Before Reading

Moral of the joke – KISS (Keep It Simple and Short). Those difficult words might make a good impression in your PhD Thesis, but definitely not in the ear of a Nigerian Entrepreneur like me. Time is money. Why must I spend time checking dictionary before I can understand what you are saying

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